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lakelady
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The Good, the Bad and the Questions
« on: May 18th, 2004, 4:03pm »
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Survivor: All-Stars Finale, Reunion, and Follow-Up Show: The good, the Bad, and the Questions  
by Ken Kellam III -- 05/16/2004  
 
 
Now that the much-hyped All-Stars edition of Survivor is in the books, Ken has more comments and questions than ever. Read on as he offers his perspective on the Mother of All Survivor Games.  
 
In Thailand, a rather forgettable season had a rather entertaining finale. In Marquesas and the Amazon, two pretty good seasons were climaxed, or rather, anti-climaxed, by dismal finales. Where does the All-Star edition of the show fall by comparison?  
 
Let's start by acknowledging that we were all expecting a little more from this edition of the show, at least from a strategic, game-playing standpoint. On that basis, the game was a big disappointment. The only one who really played with much strategy was Rob, and even he didn't prepare well for the endgame.  
 
But the finale, while not being great, wasn't exactly dismal either. The same holds true for the reunion. Both had their moments, and some of them were good.  
 
Let's start by asking the obvious: Is Amber the greatest Survivor player of all-time by virtue of her victory, and does her victory entitle her to a place in the Reality Hall of Fame? Hardly. I don't think she won it as much as Boston Rob lost it. After all, let's take a look at the four votes in her favor. First, there was Lex. Ironically, in this game Amber ended up benefiting from decisions Lex made twice. He obviously saved her after a plea from Boston Rob, and his vote for her ended up being the difference.  
 
Of course, Lex would've voted for Satan over Rob. In one of the many online editions of Survivor I've played, one player made it to the final two, but got clobbered in the final vote. In his postgame interview, he stated that when it was said and done, most of the jury would've voted for a flaming bag of canine poo-poo (okay, that's a paraphrase) before voting for him to win. By the same token, Rob was down 1 to 0 the minute Lex joined the jury.
 
Then there's Alicia. She was incensed that he went back on their handshake agreement, so she had about the same mindset as Lex. In other words, anybody but Rob. Now, Shii Ann was a different story. She'd even said in her closing comments that Amber was playing the game better than anyone else, so she was obviously voting FOR the Pennsylvania native. But Tom? If you caught the look he gave Rob after just missing the final four, it was pretty obvious right then and there Rob had lost Tom's vote as well. So in the final analysis, only one person voted for Amber due to her gameplay.  
 
The irony of Amber's winning is that she probably wasn't a first choice of the producers. But when both Elisabeth from the Outback and Colleen from Borneo balked, that's probably when Amber got the call. In fact, when she was first announced as part of the cast, many people, myself included, were incredulous. After all, she didn't show herself to be a strategic mastermind in the Outback, and to be honest, her personality wasn't that memorable. In fact, her own alliance-mates, Tina and Keith, voted to keep Elisabeth and Rodger instead of her. And let's be honest: Did anyone expect her to come close to winning the mil this time? For that matter, did anyone expect her to even make the jury? I even heard a couple of people predict she'd be one of the first ones out, and agreed. Now you know why I don't like making Survivor predictions.
 
But despite all of this, one fact remains: She won. Whether she was more cunning than anyone thought possible, or she just let Rob take all the heat, she did win the game. While luck plays a part anytime someone wins, you don't make it this far by luck alone.
 
Actually, her win over the man who won her heart reminds me of an episode of The Weakest Link. One of the shows was a special "Family" edition, with the two finalists being husband and wife. As did Anne Robinson before him, at the end of each show, host George Gray would usually say to the two finalists, "John, you are tonight's strongest link, and you win x number of dollars. Jane, you go home with nothing." But on this occasion, he said to the lady who lost to her spouse, "Jane, let's face it. You'll be getting the money anyway."  
 
Such is the situation with Rob and "Ambuh," assuming the two keep their engagement and get married. Even though they both obviously wanted to win, they knew that in reality, it didn't matter. It reminds me of my college days at then-Oklahoma Christian College, when the finals of one of the matches in the school's intramural wrestling tournament featured two guys from the same team. It was rather anti-climactic, because with no points at stake, there really wasn't much to play, uh, wrestle for.  
 
 Okay, now on to the episode. Jenna wondered aloud how she made it to the final four of the best players to play the game. Uh, best players, or most memorable? After all, none of this group made the final four their first time around. This time, the cards fell right for Jenna.
 
Did she make the right move by turning on Rupert? I'm going to say yes, because as Rob M. pointed out, there was no way she could beat Rupert. Yes, he had an agenda, but he was right. After all, Rupe hadn't ruffled too many feathers, and Jenna's loud mouth turned off quite a few people.
 
Let's assume for the sake of argument that she'd stayed true to Rupert, and Rob ended up getting voted out instead. That would leave her, Amber, and Rupe in the final three, and quite frankly, despite his not winning an individual immunity so far in All-Stars, I still would've bet on him before either of the ladies. And if he won, it didn't matter WHO he went against, he was basically deciding who got second place. Therefore, if she turns on Hagrid, uh, Rupert, she has a one in three chance of winning the seven-figure check, and virtually a zero percent chance if Rob goes instead. She was making the decision from a strategic standpoint, not a personal one, and I think she made the right call. Don't get me wrong: I like Rupe, but he was way too likable to go against in the final two.
 
Here's another question: What if Jenna had voted with Rupe, and there'd been a tie? Why did the players assume there'd be another "purple rock of death?" Yes, I saw what happened to Paschal in Marquesas, but it's silly to assume the producers wouldn't pull something out of their proverbial bag of tricks (hopefully not another rock). Were the players TOLD they'd be reaching for rocks if there was another tie? I would hope, at least, Mark Burnett would've learned his lesson from Marquesas. By the way, I still consider one the lamest moments in Survivor history to be when Jeff snuffed Paschal's torch and said, "The tribe has spoken," considering Paschal hadn't a single vote to his name.
 
 
Okay, I digress. Back to the All-Stars finale. There is another thing Amber deserves accolades for, and that's winning the final four challenge. Yes, it's easier to win a challenge when there's fewer people involved, but let's face it: She defeated both Rob and Rupert, no slouches themselves when it comes to challenges.  
 
But in final four tribal council, she commented that in the Outback, she thought she had an alliance and was blindsided, but ended up voting for the person who turned on her. Uh, not quite. When she was voted out, the only person who didn't vote her, besides herself, was Colby. Guess who she voted to win? Yep, the Colbster himself. I'm surprised no one else has caught this. If they have, I'm unaware of it.
 
Now, on to her partner in crime, "Rahb." How gratifying was it to hear him state that Rupert was a smart player, and then call the big man an gentleman while voting him out? After all the times Rob found it necessary to disparage anyone he considered competition, in or out of tribal council, it was refreshing to hear him actually give someone his due.
 
What can we make of Rupert's closing comments? Although he was man enough to say it was part of the game when Jenna voted him out, he stated in his closing comments that he was a little angry with her, and that greed won out over friendship. No Rupe, strategy won out over friendship. As you stated before, she was a single mother who wanted to win badly, and honestly, she wasn't going to get there by staying loyal to you. Being angry at her was natural and understandable, but remember this: When Colby let friendship win out over "greed," he not only lost the game, he got skewered for it (including a Reality TV Hall of Shame Moment), and deservedly so. Again, "Hagrid" is likable, but unfortunately, TOO likable to go against. Just how likable? Well, Amber, when looking at the torches of those voted out before her, commented that it was an honor playing with him. Since he wasn't there to hear her say this, it's safe to assume she was being sincere.
 
Okay, let's get to the latest version of "Hands on a hard idol," the immunity that has been around for most of the final threes in Survivor. Was there really any mystery left when Jenna accidentally lifted her foot off the post? Yes, Rob and Amber made it look good for the cameras, but realistically, everyone, including Jenna, knew Jenna needed to win this immunity to continue. And let's give props: She DID stick around until the game went to two hours and the temperature was well over the triple-digits mark.
 
Did Jenna's moving her foot really cost her the million dollars? Or did it simply cost her second place? Even if she'd outlasted "Romber," did her mouth do her in long before this challenge even started? In my view, she had a better chance against Rob, but nothing is for sure. This brings back memories of the first Survivor, when Rudy absentmindely took his hand off the idol, and most likely DID cost himself the million. After all, is there any way either Rich or Kelly could've beaten him in the finals? Jenna, however, wasn't nearly as likable. Maybe if she'd taken that foot from the get-go and put it in her mouth so she couldn't talk as much, she might have had a better shot should she actually reach the final two.
 
Now, if it was so obvious that Rob and Amber were going to take each other, why did they stay there a bit longer? My guess is they were going for bragging rights among the two of them. Here's a parallel: Almost daily, I compete with a dear friend of mine named Mitzie in an online game called "Word Racer." Usually, but not always, she beats me. Sometimes by a little, sometimes by a lot. But regardless of the outcome, we keep playing, because we love to compete against each other. I suspect it's this way with Rob and Amber: They had a friendly, loving type of competition between them.
 
Now it's time for the jury. Even before the cross-examination, er, questioning began, I thought they should've brought out Keith, the chef from the Outback. After all, it was pretty obvious that some of the jury members were going to slice, dice, roast, skewer, flambé, and fry Rob. In fact, they were ready to do to Rob what Keith did to that first batch of Outback rice – destroy it.  
 
There's an irony to Rob's game play in All-Stars: As a construction foreman, he's used to building things, but in this game, he'd destroyed more than a few relationships. In fact, he'd burned so many bridges it's surprising he wasn't charged with arson.
 
Okay, time for the jury to have their say. In the first series, Susan spoke last, and made it count with her now-infamous (and in my view, petty, vindictive, mean-spirited, and unwarranted) "snakes and rats" speech. This time, her likely successor, Mohawk Lex, goes first. He claims that to say the game is "just a game" is a big lie; it's life, with the line between game and life being less than clear.  
 
 Isn't this the same character who turned on several of his friends, claiming they were still friends, but this was business? Oh, wait, I get it: If you do it, it's business, but if someone else does it to YOU, it's life. Okay, gotcha Lex. I see this kind of hypocrisy all the time in online versions of Survivor: Someone will lie, manipulate, and backstab with the best of them, but when it happens to them, all of a sudden they find their morals and get on a soapbox.  
 
He goes on to claim there's no bitterness, but turns around and says they sold out their values, character, and friends for a stack of greenbacks. Uh, right. Explain that to Colby, Ethan, and Jerri. Frankly, in my view, if this is really life, Lex is showing HIS true character here, which is that of a poor sport.
 
Then comes Kathy, who has played about as honest a game as anyone. She says the two finalists used friendships as stepping stones to get where they are, and they could've taken another course to get there. Uh, which course would that be Kathy? Honestly, I don't think they could've made the final two if they HADN'T done what they did. Call it what you want, say it's sneaky (and it is), but the fact is, THEY made it. In fact, Kathy later said that there were several reasons they kept Amber around, some of them being strategic. Unfortunately, her strategy didn't work.
 
 
After Rupert thanks the two for helping him to get this far and asks them why they deserve the money, here comes ab-queen Alicia. She claims the two mastered the fine art of ego-stroking and butt-kissing, and she can't figure out which one of them has more crap on their lips. Here's a question I'd like to ask Alicia: Whose ego did they stroke, besides each other's, and whose butt did they kiss? I don't think it was yours, because apparently, Rob didn't really like you that much, and I don't see much evidence that Amber did either.
 
Then comes Shii Ann, whose phenomenal performance in the "bucket" immunity challenge is followed up by her phenomenal performance in the jury. She does a better job than anyone of putting things into perspective by saying that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Were you listening, Lex? She then goes on to say that all's fair in love, war and Survivor.  
 
Okay, time to digress a bit. When Shii Ann made the "Glass Houses" comment, it reminded me of an album by the same name by Billy Joel. Why not just turn the game, tribal council, and the reunion into one big musical, with Joel's music being the theme? Yes, I'm stealing another page from American Idol.
 
Anyway, Lex could've started out by crooning, "Honesty, is such a lonely word," and Colby could've chimed in and sang along with him. To which Rob could've replied, "You may be right, I may be crazy, but it just may be a lunatic you're voting for." When the jury glared at the final two, we could've heard the beginning of "Pressure." When Jerri got booed by the audience later on, everyone could've sang, "You had to be a Big Shot, didn’t you." Now that Rob and Amber are engaged, they can say to everyone else, "I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life."
 
Want more? Okay, Lex has spent the entire time since his ouster singing, "I am an innocent man," but is anyone buying it? After the exhaustive grilling by the jury, both Rob and Amber could've sung, "We answered questions for the longest time." And let's not forget Sue, who, during the beginning of All-Stars, said she never built fire in Borneo and she wasn't about to try it in the Pearl Islands. Yep, what else but, "We didn't start the fire." The theme for the whole musical probably could've been "A matter of trust."
 
Okay, back to final tribal council, and it's Tom's turn. Out of all the people in the game, Tom, in my opinion, has the most legitimate beef with Rob, because he stayed with the Robfather throughout the game, and then got betrayed just short of the final four. Rob tried to justify his actions by saying Tom was trying to get HIM out, but that excuse is flimsier than the shelter Rupe built way back when. In one of the best moments of the night, Tom goes to shake Rob's hand, and pulls it away at the last minute, saying, "I'm not stupid, stupid." He wasn't about to fall for Rob's antics again. What made this moment great was it probably caught a lot of people by surprise; it certainly did me. Of course, it's been pretty obvious since Tom glared at Rob after being ousted that the goat farmer wasn't going to vote for Rob. That's what happens when you make too many promises, Rob: You eventually have to betray SOMEBODY.
 
Okay, now it's time for the jury to get the last laugh. Jenna votes for Rob and says he deserves it. Alicia says she told Rob she'd never write his name down, and she's a lady of her word. Kathy votes for Rob and says their friendship isn't ruined, just damaged. It's pretty obvious that Tom and Lex weren't going to vote for Rob, which leaves Rupert and Shii Ann. Rupe obviously had no bitter feelings for Rob, despite once saying the Bostonian could be "an arrogant pain in the ass." Shii Ann, however, votes for Amber; remember, earlier, she said Amber was playing the game better than anyone was giving her credit for, or somesuch.
 
Now it's time for the long-awaited reunion. Let me start off by saying I'm happy for Rob and Amber that they found each other, and I'm also happy for Ethan and Jenna M., as well as newly-married Jenna L. But frankly, I got sick of all the lovey-dovey talk on the reunion show. If I'd wanted to see Love Connection, that's what I'd be watching. No, I don't hate romance, but all the "love is in the air" talk made me gag, and it has nothing to do with being almost 40 and still single. Really. Honest. And I also realize that there was no way these relationships could NOT be addressed; it simply wasn't what I tuned in to hear.
 
What DID I enjoy hearing during the reunion? That would be Rich Hatch socking it to both Kathy and Lex over their whining over the game. He correctly pointed out that it IS a game, and they both made decisions for strategic, not personal reasons, including keeping Amber over Jerri. And to be honest, Rich is in a position to say this; after all, his "I've been bamboozled" spectacle when he was ousted was probably one of the best reactions to ejection in Survivor history. I figured when he finally got ousted he would go on some rant about morals and ethics, but to his credit, he reacted and responded like a man.
 
 Another interesting sight during the reunion was Tom's confrontation with Rob. How telling was it that Rob repeatedly asked Tom if he had an alliance with Lex, and the goat farmer refused to answer? At this point, I'm wondering why Tom didn't point out that he voted Lex out along with the others.  
 
Oh, and then comes another lowlight. Jerri, who didn't make the jury, hence costing her camera time, interjects herself into the Rob/Tom controversy. She says the whole thing is making her sick. Well, now she knows how she made US feel during Beef Jerkygate. She gets some well-deserved boos, and when the audiences calms down, she says while the show is about entertainment, the entertainment is coming at a price. Actually, she's right. The price is whatever it costs to air a 30-second commercial during the reunion. Oops, she didn't mean THAT kind of cost. She's talking about their friendships, their feelings, their pain, their suffering, all for entertainment. This is the same lady, uh, female who after Outback ended, said she'd put it behind her, and didn't even keep up with Amber, her closest Outback ally. As for pain, suffering, and feelings, she brought that on herself by the lie she told about Kel, the way she dissed Keith, and the way she conducted herself in the Pearl Islands. After all, didn't both Kathy and Shii Ann speak poorly of her, with at least one of them using the "B" word?
 
 
Here's a question for Jerri: Exactly who put a gun to her head and forced her to participate in All-Stars? For that matter, who put a gun to her head and forced her to participate in The Surreal Life and Outback? If she doesn't the thought of being a public spectacle, maybe she should give up reality television appearances. Plus, she's certainly making a spectacle out of herself now. I think that was her intent all along: she made a last-ditch effort to be the center of attention on national television and bring attention to her acting career. It didn't turn out the way she wanted, so she bolted. The whole thing ended up as a new addition to her Reality TV Hall of Shame wing.
 
Finally, host Jeff Probst comes to Colby, who, like Shii Ann at tribal council, seems to have it all in perspective when he says he didn't play the game well, and that it's one thing to know how to play the game successfully, but another to actually do it. Notice how he never blames Lex for double-crossing him, but rather, notes that Rob and Amber were successful at playing the game.
 
After a few comments from Shii-Ann, it's Rob vs. Tom, part two. Tom says that insulting him is one thing, but putting down is son is quite another. To be honest, I'm with Tom on this one. One thing my journalism teacher told us in college was, "You can sack the quarterback, but you can't go after his family in the stands," and in essence, that's exactly what Rob did. Next, Tom is asked if the name-calling he and Rob engaged in was fun or mean-spirited. Tom says he hopes it was fun, but thinks it was mean. Rob points out that from the beginning of the game, Tom called him "pony," and claimed he would ride Rob all the way to the end. While I'm not doubting Rob, I'm wondering why the producers never showed us this footage? It certainly would've put things in a different perspective, especially near the end. Rob goes on to say when he called Tom "dumb-ass," it was actually a form of endearment. Here, I actually believe him. I'd have friends whom I traded numerous barbs with, including terms a lot worse than dumb-ass, but I never took offense. To his credit, Rob does say he's sorry if he did Tom's family wrong.
 
After the break, Jeff Probst informs us that Jerri left during the commercial. I, for one, am glad. She was a drama queen trying to create drama, and she got called on it. Rich notes that when you're playing the game, people think of you as a character, and it can get to you, as it apparently did Jerri. Rich then calls Jerri a great girl who just got upset. She got upset allright-no one was buying what she was selling-including the audience and other players.
 
Probst then notes that she brought into All-Stars the feelings people had about her from before, which made her an All-Star and great character in the first place, but that it's easy to forget that she's a real person. Well, she may be a real person, but in my opinion, she made a real attempt at grabbing the spotlight, and it backfired on her, and she couldn't take it. As for people seeing her as a character, this "character" was probably the reason she got brought back for All-Stars in the first place, and now she's complaining? Jerri is obviously biting the hand that feeds her.
 
Eventually, we get to the much-promised twist, and we find out that for the first time, the viewers gets a say in who gets a million. Yes, I cast a vote, and yes it was for Rupert. We'll learn who actually won the million on a special Thursday night episode.
 
 So come Thursday, it's more Jerri-talk. Referring to her abrupt decision to leave after being booed four days earlier, she says she made her point the best way she knew how and that was by not saying anything and leaving. Uh, what point was that? That she had a thin skin? That she craved the spotlight but only if everyone was on board with her? That she was a crybaby who couldn't stand the heat, so she got out of the kitchen? She goes on to say her point was that they all needed time and space for healing. If that was her point, why didn't she just say that? And hadn't they HAD time and space? After all, the finale and reunion aired long after the game was played, and even longer after she'd been ousted from it. How much time and space do you NEED? I think she probably came up with that point between the time she was booed and the time Thursday's episode aired. She realized she'd be on television one more time, and decided to do a little bit of spin-doctoring. What about her comments that she was upset with Jeff Probst for not keeping the audience under control? Her definition of "control" must be "not booing me." Frankly, the audience was rather restrained, considering her attention-seeking diatribe regarding a situation that didn't involve her in the first place.  
 
She also claimed that none of the players got to express what they were feeling without being judged. Excuse me? Was anyone booing Tom and Rob as they argued? And isn't being booed, or "judged," as Jerri calls it, the risk you take when you go on live television? She was presuming to speak for everyone else, but didn't have her facts straight. When you get down to it, she had her say, but so did the audience. They simply didn't like what she had to say, and she couldn't handle it.  
 
She then goes on to say that without them, there would be no Survivor. No Jerri, without the producers casting you in the first place, there would be no YOU, at least not on national television. She claims it was THEIR night and nobody got to say what needed to be said. Excuse me? Rob and Tom were busy saying what needed to be said before Jerri butted in. What she really means is, "It was my night to be in the spotlight and further my acting career and the cameras weren't coming to me so I just injected myself into a situation that didn't involve me in the first place."
 
Okay, once the drama queen has finished her performance, Rich Hatch brings a realm of sanity to the proceedings, as he did during the Reunion show. He says he's always been clear that it's a game and it depends on how the audience looks at your character (and sometimes, how you get edited, I might add).  
 
 
Probst asks if it's a fair observation to say that if you enter into a reality show, you become whomever the audience decides you are. Rich answers that he knew it going in and believes it, adding that none of them really ARE who the audience thinks they are, but whatever they think is fine with him.  
 
I have to agree with him here. In my opinion, you really can't tell someone's character in the game by watching a few minutes of footage. Yes, someone may blow up, get in a fight, or do something spectacular, but that's only a small portion of what actually goes on. And you REALLY can't tell someone's character outside of the game. After all, even though it's called reality TV, the environment is pretty artificial. I mean, how would ANY of us react to being stranded with seven unfamiliar people in an unfamiliar setting? Regardless, Rich seems to have it in perspective.
 
Next, Probst goes on to talk to Rob Cesternino, noting that while Rob's a nice guy in person, he was the villain of his season. To be honest, I never saw Rob C. as a villain, certainly not in the same vein as Boston Rob or "2 B's dude" Robb from Thailand. Honestly, I saw Rob C. as simply a guy who was here to play the game and play it as hard as he could. In my view, if there was any villain in the Amazon, it would be the Skele-twins, aka Jenna and Heidi. And even then, it's been established Jenna was very gracious about the comments made about her by this site and by fans, while Heidi has said those who know her know that what they saw of her on the tube isn't the real her.
 
Probst eventually makes it clear that all of the All-Stars have fulfilled their contractual obligations, and any of them are free to leave if they wish. Nope, Jerri doesn't give a repeat performance as a runaway, and no one else mimics her antics of the other night, and Probst says he doesn't want to hear another word about it.
 
Let me digress again for a few, and state that this is only ONE of the many reasons I couldn't agree more with Jeff Probst's induction into the Reality TV Hall of Fame. What Rich Hatch did for playing, Probst does for hosting. He doesn't buddy up to the players and try to make 'em feel better when they screw up. Remember when Julie Chen smacked Marcellas over the head with a clipboard for not using the power of veto to save himself? Probst wouldn't have been nearly that gracious.  
 
The reunion specials after each Survivor Finale improved greatly when he started hosting them. He not only asks tough questions, he doesn't back down until he gets an answer, just like a good district attorney during a cross-examination. Even the Amazon finale, which was ruined for many by Jenna's victory, could count Probst as a saving grace. It was he who remarked that Jenna behaved like a spoiled brat. I would love to see him be able to conduct the Early Show interviews the day after a contestant is kicked off, but realize he can't be everywhere.
 
Okay, back to the special. We learn that the votes from John Q. Viewing Public are in, and there are four finalists. The first, originally from my home state of Texas, is Colby. In my view, he deserves to be a finalist not only for the way he dominated challenges in the Outback, but for being a good sport about his ouster from All-Stars. He lost, he admitted it, and he didn't make excuses.  
 
Then it's time for a look at some of the best Survivor fights of all time. I have to agree with those who chose Rupert vs. Jon. For pure intensity, that footage was some of the best in the show's history.
 
 Speaking of fights, Probst then gets back into things between Rob and Lex. The tattooed one says he has no hard feelings, and I believe him. After all, it's been months since the show wrapped up taping, and he's had a lot of time to reflect and simmer down. It would've been interesting to hear his response if Probst had asked him if he could ever again be friends with Rob.
 
Soon after, we see footage of some of the best Survivor moments ever. For my money, No.1 was when Jerri got ousted with the help of her own alliance members, and No. 2 was when Silas got kicked from Kenya after boasting they might as well write him the million-dollar check now, a la Rich Hatch. But while those are my favorite moments, they may not be necessarily the best in terms of pure drama.  
 
I'll certainly tell you my LEAST favorite moments: As I've mentioned before, this wedding news stuff was making me gag. So Rob's going to marry Amber? Hasn't he already screwed Lex, Kathy, and Big Tom on national television? As for the sexiest man, uh, sorry, I don't uh, lean in that direction.
 
Anyway, Colby wins "Sexiest Man," and again manages to put everything in perspective by crediting the show for all he's gotten. He reminds me of someone else from Texas named David Clyde. For those of you who may not know, Clyde was a hotshot high school pitcher from Houston, Texas, who was drafted by my hometown Texas Rangers in the early ‘70s. To make a long story short, Clyde was rushed along by the Rangers, never reached his full potential, and was done before his time. Some months back, I read an interview where he said baseball doesn't owe him anything, and he owes everything that happened to him to baseball. That's exactly the attitude Colby seems to have towards Survivor.  
 
Oh, I almost forgot. We also learn that the second finalist for the viewer's choice million is Big Tom. Why did he make the cut? Here's my thoughts: Not only did he finish fourth and fifth when playing the game, Tom comes across as someone who's non-threatening, real, and genuine, which the average viewer can probably relate to. Not only that, but he had some of the funniest moments and quotes on the show, but in Africa and the Outback. There's a certain disarming charisma about Tom.
 
 
Next it's on to a category I can really get into – sexiest woman. Heidi? Jenna M.? Please, if I find someone's personality to be a complete turnoff (at least what was seen on the show), it doesn't matter WHAT they look like. In fact, my friend Rachel still remembers now much I ragged on these two and how much I hated it when Jenna won Amazon.
 
Colleen? Maybe, in a cute, girlish kind of way. Elisabeth? There's my vote right there! I don't care HOW much hair she lost, she not only had the looks, she had the sweet, gentle personality to go along with them. Her father-daughter relationship with Rodger didn't hurt either.  
 
Jerri? Uh, see Jenna M. and Heidi. Cleopatra, uh, Sarah? She only had two things going for her, and they weren't even real. It's ironic that Erin was chosen, because when Thailand was airing, someone started a rumor on the internet that she was a he. Well, she's not a man, and she IS from Texas, but I'm not sure about the sexy part. Speaking of which, what about Penny? Yes, she showed herself to be immature at times, such as asking the finalists questions about HER during final tribal council. However, her blonde hair and blue eyes are hard to beat. Darrah? She wasn't bad, but I'd already forgotten about her, to be honest.  
 
And who eventually won? That would be the same lady who won All-Stars a few nights before, Amber. While she's definitely attractive, I'm not sure I'd put her in the same category as Elisabeth. In my view, Amber most likely got it because during All-Stars, we got to see a lot more of her, so she was fresh on peoples' minds.
 
Okay, it's time to meet the third finalist. Is anyone surprised Rupert made the cut? As you probably know by now, he dominated the voting the way he dominated challenges during his first Pearl Islands stint. Why was he such a runaway winner?  
 
First off, let me state that I deliberately held off reading David's article on "Why Rupert Won" until after I finished this article, so please excuse any points that may be duplicated or contradicted. In my humble opinion, Rupert won because like Tom, he exudes a certain blue-collar charisma. He may not look like a Hollywood leading man, but he doesn't need to: He's his own man, and proud of it. He's the kind of guy you'd like to sit back and knock down a few cold ones with.
 
His down-home Midwestern good old boy demeanor makes him seem accessible to the person watching at home. Even his profession, mentoring troubled teen boys, makes him seem real and genuine. In fact, when he was ousted from the Pearl Islands, CBS got numerous calls protesting the decision, as if CBS had anything to do with it. Finally, his relationship with his wife is obviously special and heartfelt. Who DOESN'T want someone in their life who loves them like that?
 
 Okay, as far as the fourth candidate for the million, I thought it might be Kathy. But Boston Rob? I'll confess I didn't see it coming. I'm guessing he got the nomination because not only did he dominate the challenges in All-Stars, but those voting for him probably feel that he should've won the million four nights before.  
 
Then it's time to learn who was voted as the show's greatest villain. I wholeheartedly agree with the choice of Jon "My grandmother isn't really dead" from Pearl Islands. Lo and behold, he happens to be in the audience and gets a chance to plug his latest pro wrestling venture. Darn, why did his 15 minutes of fame have to go longer? However, part of me does wish he'd been cast in All-Stars, namely so we could watch him get ousted in rather quick fashion.
 
There are a couple of other things to note here: First, it was refreshing to hear Rob admit that Rupert was the most popular of all the All-Stars, because he didn't always give people their due, either in Marquesas or All-Stars. Wait, here's an idea: Remember the challenge where players would try to throw each other off the beam and into the water? I would've loved to have seen Rob M. and Rupe square off for the million right then and there. Rob M. easily disposed of Colby in that same challenge, but Rupe would've been just a bit harder to move, not to mention just a bit more likely to pick up Rob and toss him over like a piece of plywood.  
 
Finally, here's a question to ponder regarding Rupert's win: How ironic is it that a guy who spent his early years being teased for being the fat kid in school grew up to win a nationwide popularity contest? Well, Rupe, to paraphrase Stuart Smalley, you're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it, people like you.
 
Well, one question has already been answered, and that's the location of Survivor 9. We learn it will have the lengthy name "Survivor: Vanuatu, Islands of Fire." Wait, here's an idea: Why don't they just bring back some of the show's more narcissistic personalities, and call it, Survivor: Vanity, Egos on Fire. On second thought, never mind. I've seen and heard of Jerri to last me until Survivor 100: The Moon. Okay, over and out. If you're still reading along, thanks for being patient, and see you in September!
 
Ken can be reached with any comments, criticisms, or money orders at [email protected].
 
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Rupey
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Re: The Good, the Bad and the Questions
« Reply #1 on: May 18th, 2004, 5:10pm »
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Cool  I loved and laughed at his comments about Jerri.  I couldn't have said it any better.
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Re: The Good, the Bad and the Questions
« Reply #2 on: May 18th, 2004, 5:14pm »
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Grin
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Re: The Good, the Bad and the Questions
« Reply #3 on: May 19th, 2004, 8:37am »
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Didn't Ken read Jenna's Chat?
 
Ken said"Why did the players assume there'd be another "purple rock of death?" Yes, I saw what happened to Paschal in Marquesas, but it's silly to assume the producers wouldn't pull something out of their proverbial bag of tricks (hopefully not another rock). Were the players TOLD they'd be reaching for rocks if there was another tie?"
 
From Jenna's Chat:  
that_canadian_rice: Jenna, you were talking about the "Purple Rock Pick." Had Jeff indicated that this would be used as a tiebreaker instead of asking questions?  
Jenna L: Yes. Jeff distinctly told us that the tie would be drawing a rock. That's why I chose to put fate in my own hands.  
 
I am sure that her chat was posted before the 16th.  
 
 
 
 
 
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Re: The Good, the Bad and the Questions
« Reply #4 on: May 19th, 2004, 12:04pm »
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I didn't realize that they knew the tie breaker was a purple rock.
 
They seemed to forget that part of the purple rock scenario is to negotiate with the other players first.  
 
I can understand though why Jenna avoided the rock since she already knew the other two were voting for Rupert.
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