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   Palau's Jolanda Jones reviews Episode 1!
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Palau's Jolanda Jones reviews Episode 1!
« on: Feb 6th, 2006, 8:41am »
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Wanda has graciously sent us Survivor: Palau's Jolanda Jone's first episode commentary on Survivor: Exile Island!  It's always nice to hear what a former Survivor thinks about the current season.  
 
A big supportive 'thank you' to Jolanda for sharing!  We'd love to hear what she has to say whenever she can share it with us!
 

 
Predictable Yet Funny !!
 
Well, another season of Survivor has begun.  I’m surprised that I enjoyed it so much.  I laughed and laughed and laughed.  I called Shirk (you guys know her as Wacky Wanda) during the commercials and we dialoged as we always do.  Shirk tried to get me to blog last season (Guatemala) but I wasn’t motivated to.  This season seems like maybe I want to.  
 
It was so predictable.  The younger hot bodies have what we all want tight bodies and youth but they also lack what you acquire with age and wisdom – respect for hard work and team work.  The young hot girls were ditzes; while the young hard-bodied guys were Cro-Magnon.  The first reward challenge had more to do with luck than skill.  Athletic ability really played a small to no role.  Of course I knew pre-reward challenge, that the self-proclaimed athletic one [sorry, I don’t know manes yet] was gonna lose because that’s what the producers do.  The show you making a bold statement then have you fall on your face.  It was noble that she offered to go to Exile Island first (so at least she has some maturity).  She would have probably been the first on the chopping block had the girls lost immunity.  The girl who pretended to find the Immunity Idol is at least thinking.  It will remain to be seen if it’s a good move.  As long as no one finds the Idol, she may be safe or it could backfire if she becomes an early target just to force her hand and make her use it early if she really has it.  We’ll see.
 
The young girls were so predictable.  Indecisive, frolicky, superficial – you name the adjective for dumb blondes and they are it.  They all were in their made-for-Playboy swimsuits.  Don’t go throwing stones at me for my ugly black sports bra and panties.  I was stranded in a $600 silk suit and three inch stiletto heels.  I had no choice but to strip so it wasn’t by choice; it was necessity for me.  That let’s-just-walk-and-look-around-for –the-bestest-campsite was hilarious.  I would have gone crazy on their tribe just like I did on Ulong.  I sure hope they tribe shuffle or something because looks, bodies and no brains won’t take you far.  Their athletic young bodies and luck paid off in the First Immunity Challenge.  Score one for the girls.  
 
The hot young boys were humorous as well.  How smart were they?  Waste time playing baseball first.  Ooooooh Strong Men.  You’re so CroMagnon!!! They’ve got the Woooooo-Saw factor going with the yoga guy.  What’s that Yen/Yang?  Using meditation ain’t gonna build no fire. [I know it’s not correct English but it’s for emphasis].  So strong that they tried for fire and then gave up.  What ever happened to perseverance?  Again their athletic ability was minimized in the First Reward Challenge.  Other than the laughs they provided me, I won’t waste a lot of space on them…
 
Except to say a Survivor fan I know tried to convince me that the black lawyer was hot and that we would make a cute couple.  She said he’s a former athlete who went to Stanford.  She said he’s smart enough for me.  I must thank her for the flattery.  In any case, I don’t even know him but I agree that he’s handsome.  He’s got a nice body as well.  He probably wouldn’t like me because I am an older woman [40 years old] – at least by Exile Island’s standards (Yeah Right!!!).  That’s sad.  He looks sort of short.  I guess she didn’t do her homework.  If he’s not short then the other guys on his team are extremely tall.    
Let’s get to the older guys.  I would have loved to be on their team.  They work hard; appreciate hard work and teamwork; and they figure out who’s good at what and allow people to use their strengths for the betterment of the team.  
 
They are the type of people I would love to be in business with or to fight a war with, with the exception of the guy going through withdrawal.  He’s right – he should be with the young guys.  He’s got the work ethic of a young guy – none.   He’s calling people names already.  I don’t like him.  I hope he goes early.  If they keep the teams together he might be around for a while because I think the older men identify what needs to be done; predict what contingencies might arise; decide on the best plan; then execute.  Nothing more needs to be said about them.  They are perfection with the exception of Mr. Withdrawal.
 
Finally:  the older women.  They were funny.  Timber Tina has some funny one-liners as did Cirie.  I don’t know why but she’s the only name I remember -- probably because we’re both black women.  I must say, I was surprised the older women were afraid of strong hard working women.  I was disappointed in Cirie.  I thought as we got older we got wiser.  Guess not.  I would have taken Shirk on any tribe on any day [she works hard all the time].  We both appreciate the virtues that these older women feared.  Shame on you older women!  If I weren’t watching with my own eyes, I would have sworn I was looking at the young girls (minus the hot bodies – with the exception of the real estate lady).  I’m certain that if asked, Shirk would appreciate Timber Tina just like me.  They better hope for a team swap because they just sealed their fate otherwise.  Didn’t they watch Survivor Palau.  Ulong is the perfect lesson for what happens when you get rid of strength.  They got rid of their strength.  Timber Tina.  I suspect Timber Tina didn’t watch previous Survivors either (just like I didn’t and lived to regret it).  She would have seen what happens to people who embody and demonstrate successful life skills.  They are targeted and booted off early.  The First Immunity Challenge did require more athletic ability and it showed what is stereotypically shown when it comes to older women.  They were un-athletic and slow.  I was sad.  Older women can be strong athletically.  
 
Notwithstanding all the predictability, I laughed and that’s good for TV.  Anyway, I’m tired and I’ve got to get back to saving my clients.  I’ll see ya when I see ya.  
 
PS: WARNING:  To Future Survivors – show weakness, you’ll go far.
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