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Topic: The Anna Nicole Show (Read 1398 times)

MzzJoplin
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The Anna Nicole Show
« on: Jul 10^th, 2002, 11:47am »

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Anna Nicole Is Ready for Her Close-Up

Style and grace.
According to the famous-for-being-famous Anna Nicole Smith, these are the two things needed in order for a woman to snag a billionaire of her very own.
They also appear to be the two qualities that will be missing most from her upcoming E! series, "The Anna Nicole Show."
Taking a page out of MTV's book that has made aging rocker Ozzy Osbourne relevant all over again, the half-hour reality show premiering Sunday, Aug. 4 will take viewers into Smith's pink, pink world. In fact, the former Texas stripper is so mad for the color that it's also the hue of her favorite beverage -- Strawberry Quik.
Not that pink, or Quik, go with Smith's food of choice -- dill pickles.
Along with the ex-Guess jeans model, the show will chronicle the lives of her 16-year-old son Daniel (who hates the cameras), her assistant Kim Walther (a former Jehovah's Witness with a tattoo of Anna Nicole on her left arm) and her lawyer Howard K. Stern, who successfully helped Smith to lay claim to a huge chunk of change following the death of her billionaire octogenarian husband J. Howard Marshall in 1994.
Oh, and Sugar Pie. Smith's omnipresent black toy poodle is never far from 1993's Playmate of the Year, and is allegedly better about holding her bladder than Osbourne's menagerie.
"Well, Sugar Pie is trained, so she goes outside when she's got a little potty, so no one has to clean up after Sugar Pie," Smith says, before launching in on the dog's other problems. "She is rather too close to me, and we do have a doggie therapist, and she is on Prozac. She's obsessed over me. She's like, if I go out somewhere, she won't eat and she won't drink, and she just shakes until I get back. She's just crazy about her mama."
Apparently, not too crazy. When Sugar Pie is later spotted in the arms of an assistant in the bathroom of the Ritz-Carlton where Smith is talking to reporters, she is happily lapping water from the sink even though Smith is nowhere to be seen.
With the judgment that would financially set up Smith for life still being contested by Marshall's son, her May-December relationship is a taboo topic on-camera and off. Through the course of the series, however, she does blithely talk to her breasts, go to the dentist, bowling, discuss how she hasn't had sex in two years and revels in how she loves hearing the paparazzi call out her name: "Anna ... Anna ... Anna ... ."
Still, when asked about her obvious breast augmentation, the buxom (again, former) Lane Bryant spokesmodel is reluctant to talk about a couple of her more notable attributes.
"I didn't come here to talk about my transplants," she stonily malaprops.
Smith claims that while she always wanted to be famous, she didn't want fame of this type. Citing her role models as being Marilyn Monroe and Christie Brinkley, she hopes that "The Anna Nicole Show" will appeal to her broad fan base. "I have large women that love me, I have children, I also have college boys."
The unwaveringly zaftig Smith, who says she hated the 1997 E! True Hollywood Story that chronicled her life, seems unperturbed by the fact that the network might be putting her up for mockery again. Especially considering the show's tagline: "It's not supposed to be funny ... it just is."
"I mean, my life -- my life is funny," Smith says. "I mean, there's things that happen to me all the time. And it just is funny. I mean, I don't see it as being funny at the time, but when you look back on it, it's funny."
"The Anna Nicole Show" premieres Sunday, Aug. 4 at 10 p.m. ET on E!

Where's that puking smilie when you need it?
Gotta say that I love the tag-line though - "It's not supposed to be funny ... it just is."

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Tsunami
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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #1 on: Jul 30^th, 2002, 6:45am »

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The E! network has really been promoting this show, and I have to say it looks pretty good to me. Judging from the promos, she has got to be the most similar person in the world to Ozzy Osbourne. She can't talk, she can barely move, and she's insane.

Except she's not as smart.

If the show is anywhere near as invasive as "The Osbournes" is I think it'll be hillarious. Imagine if the show was just Ozzy without his family.. that's what this looks like so far. Of course, they always put the best parts in the commercials, so I guess we'll see.

Or maybe we won't, I think it's on this Sunday at 10? But Sunday at 10 is Crime & Punishment obviously, so I'll watch the reruns Sad

Oh well.

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Rhune
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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #2 on: Jul 30^th, 2002, 4:12pm »

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E!'s online Anna Nicole Guide:

http://www.eonline.com/On/AnnaNicole/index.html?ibd

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Rhune
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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #3 on: Jul 31^st, 2002, 8:50am »

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'Anna Nicole' Producers Look to Balance Taste, Titillation
Tue, Jul 30, 2002 12:25 PM PDT

LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) - The producers of "The Anna Nicole Show" on E! are not looking to make their new reality series into a "Girl Gone Wild" video.

At the same time, though, they're considering including footage of star Anna Nicole Smith nude in the show, which debuts Sunday night (Aug. 4).

"There are some risqué moments with Anna that we've shot," executive producer Jeff Shore tells the New York Post. "She's very open, very uncensored in her real life. It's not like she's parading around naked for us, but she certainly lets us stay with her when she wants to go skinny dipping or something."

E! camera crews have been following Smith, a former Playmate of the Year, model and sometime actress, since May. They've shot hundreds of hours of footage for "The Anna Nicole Show," which is aiming for the same ratings success that MTV's "The Osbournes" enjoyed earlier this year.

With regard to the grown-up fare, Shore says "It's not just a question of, if she flashes us it'll go into the show." Still, should such footage fit with a given episode's storyline -- and get the OK from network censors -- it might make it to the air, he says.

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Rhune
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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #4 on: Aug 1^st, 2002, 11:57am »

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Anna Nicole Bans Film Crew from Her Bathroom
World Entertainment News Network

ANNA NICOLE SMITH has barred the E! film crew currently following her every move from her bathroom after experiencing her most humiliating moment there.

The camera crew have spent the past seven weeks following the busty socialite, ready for a new reality TV show, THE ANNA NICOLE SHOW, which airs in America on Sunday.

And they plan to capture more footage during the show's run - but they won't get anywhere near Anna Nicole's bathroom after they accidentally caught her peeing.

She says, "I went in with my microphone still on and they heard everything - it was really embarrassing. You forget to take the mic off. So, now the bathroom is off limits."

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Kramer
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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #5 on: Aug 6^th, 2002, 7:36am »

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I watched this show on Sunday night and I was appalled!!!!

This is a joke, right? I mean who would embarass themselves with this crap?

ANS looked and acted like a drugged up bimbo slut.

What an embarrassment to her son.

She has serious issues.

« Last Edit: Aug 6^th, 2002, 7:37am by Kramer »

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Tsunami
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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #6 on: Aug 6^th, 2002, 9:51am »

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I haven't seen the show because they put it on the same time as Crime & Punishment and they rerun it the same time as The Mole finale. But I saw her promoting it on the Howard Stern show and have to take issue with your description:

She doesn't do drugs.
She hasn't had sex for two years (= not a slut).
We all have serious issues.
That is the person she is, how can being yourself be embarassing? I admire her honesty and wish most people were more like her.

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Kramer
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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #7 on: Aug 6^th, 2002, 2:33pm »

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"She doesn't do drugs"

Well she slurs her words and mumbles incoherently, stumbles around unbalanced and for all intents and purposes appears to be very well sedated on SOMETHING.

"She hasn't had sex for 2 years (= not a slut)"

She portrays herself as a slut, she was househunting and went into the bedroom of a complete stranger and laid on their bed in very erotic and sexual positions and put on quite a display for the cameraman. Shortly thereafter, she announced that she had to get home to masterbate because she was really horny and didn't have an opportunity to get herself off earlier in the morning. She opened her shirt up for the camera man and apologized because her breasts seemed to be falling out (or could it be that her shirt was just way too small and lowcut).

"We all have serious issues"

Yea, but we all don't publicly embarrass ourselves and our family members by displaying our serious issues on TV for the entire world to see. And some (probably most) of her issues she brings upon herself.

Sorry, but I disagree with you. She is nothing but trash. I don't consider low moral values and lude public sexual behavior to be admirable traits, whether they are honest reflections of her persona or not.

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BlankWillWin
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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #8 on: Aug 6^th, 2002, 2:54pm »

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From a review on NPR:
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Watching The Anna Nicole Show is like getting sprayed by a skunk, no matter what you do, there's no way to get away from the stink.

Eric.

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Rhune
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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #9 on: Aug 7^th, 2002, 3:42pm »

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"Anna Nicole" Scores Record Ratings
by Mark Armstrong
Aug 6, 2002, 2:45 PM PT

Anna Nicole Smith was busting out (and busting records) all over E! Sunday night.

The Anna Nicole Show, the new reality series starring the former Playboy pinup turned Texas oil billionaire's widow, notched a 4.1 household rating in its 10 p.m. debut Sunday--the highest rating ever for the cable network, the best debut for a cable reality series and the second best debut for an original series on basic cable.

(E! Online is a division of E! Networks.)

All told, the curiosity factor gave Anna Nicole higher premiere ratings than MTV's The Osbournes, which nabbed a 2.8 household rating in its debut, before building up an audience throughout the season. For the record, the highest-rated original-series debut on cable belongs to USA Network's The Dead Zone, which pulled in a 4.7 in June.

The highest ratings, of course, came from Smith's hometown of Houston, where the show notched a whopping 9.7 rating.

Reality also ruled on the broadcast networks last week: NBC edged out CBS to win the weekly ratings race, thanks to summer programming like Dog Eat Dog, Fear Factor, Meet My Folks and the Peacock's latest entry in the battle of the lightweights, The Rerun Show.

Rerun, which features comics reenacting classic sitcom episodes (with a little sexual innuendo thrown in for good measure), pulled in 9.4 million viewers Thursday night. The show built on its Will & Grace lead-in audience despite competition from the number one show of the week, CBS' C.S.I. (15.6 million viewers).

Overall, NBC pulled in 7.92 million viewers, sliding past CBS' 7.91 million average. The Eye network's reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond (12.3 million) and Becker (11.2 million) remained in the top 10 again, while its reality spectacle Big Brother 3 remained a strong performer on Wednesday (10 million viewers) and Thursday (8.6 million).

Fox finished in fourth place for the week ended August 4, but it still has one of the biggest summer hits in American Idol, which saw both of its episodes in Nielsen's top 10. The pop-wannabe series remains number one on Tuesday and Wednesday nights, averaging 12.2 million viewers and 10.2 million, respectively.

Finally, ABC held on to third place, but its most watched shows came from the network's news division--Primetime Thursday (14th place, 9.5 million viewers) and 20/20 (21st place, 8.7 million). As evidence that the Mickey Mouse network is willing to try anything to lure back viewers, ABC announced Tuesday it will begin broadcasting reruns of USA Network's original detective series Monk, starting August 13 at 9 p.m.

Yes, that's right. ABC will air reruns of a cable show--in an attempt to boost ratings.

Usually, it works the other way around: A network airs an original episode before feeding it to a sister cable network for "repurposing." But Monk, starring Tony Shalhoub, is scoring critical acclaim and decent ratings for USA, and it pulled in a healthy 4.9 million viewers last Friday.

By comparison, Sunday's rerun of ABC's Alias pulled in just 3.6 million viewers, so they might as well try the reverse approach. "This is an interesting programming development experiment," said ABC Entertainment president Susan Lyne, "and there's no better time of year to try something different."

And there's no better network on which to try it.

Here's a rundown of the week's top 10 among total viewers, according to Nielsen:

1. C.S.I., CBS, 15.6 million viewers
2. Everybody Loves Raymond, CBS, 12.3 million
3. 48 Hours (Monday), CBS, 12.3 million
4. American Idol (Tuesday), Fox, 12.2 million
5. Law & Order, NBC, 12.1 million
6. Dog Eat Dog, NBC, 11.7 million
7. Becker, CBS, 11.2 million
8. 60 Minutes, CBS, 10.9 million
9. Dateline, NBC, 10.8 million
10. American Idol (Wednesday), Fox, 10.2 million

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Tsunami
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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #10 on: Aug 9^th, 2002, 1:07pm »

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Woo it's on again tonight at 10PM (eastern), I'll finally get to see it!

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Tsunami
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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #11 on: Aug 11^th, 2002, 2:04pm »

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Well, I FINALLY got to watch this, and I don't like it as much as "the Osbournes" because of the way it is edited.. Anna's show jumps around too fast, they didn't ever show more than 20 seconds of straight footage together.. ruins the reality feel.

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BlankWillWin
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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #12 on: Aug 11^th, 2002, 2:11pm »

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Anna's show jumps around too fast, they didn't ever show more than 20 seconds of straight footage together

Probably because Anna can't be interesting for more than 20 seconds in a row... :drummer:

Eric.

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Tsunami
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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #13 on: Aug 13^th, 2002, 1:32pm »

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Everyone is interesting

That's why we watch shows like The Real World and Survivor. The problem with Anna's show is that they edited out the reality and tried to make it too interesting.

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Rhune
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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #14 on: Aug 13^th, 2002, 4:01pm »

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ANNA NICOLE SMITH has once again raised the ire of her stepson, E. PIERCE MARSHALL. Sunday night's installment of "The Anna Nicole Show" showed the blonde and her lawyer searching for the perfect spot for the ashes of her late husband, J. HOWARD MARSHALL. Pierce called Smith's conduct "reprehensible." There was a bitter battle over the elder Marshall's remains, and finally, the judge ordered them split 50/50 between Smith and Pierce.

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Rhune
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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #15 on: Sep 18^th, 2002, 1:55am »

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Lane Bryant Reportedly Drops Anna Nicole
Mon, Sep 16, 2002 06:12 PM PDT

LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) - Anna Nicole Smith may have her own TV show, but she no longer has a modeling gig with Lane Bryant.

The apparel chain, which caters to plus-size women, apparently no longer wants to be associated with Smith after seeing her exploits on E!'s "Anna Nicole Show," which shows the life of the former Playmate and billionaire's widow in a rather unflattering light.

"Lane Bryant only hired her for several shows -- she was never on staff," a fashion-industry source tells the New York Post. "I doubt she'll be in this year."

New York's fashion week begins Wednesday (Sept. 1 Cool

, and sources tell the paper that Smith will not be part of any Lane Bryant show. A representative for the company says only that no plans for its show have been finalized.

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Mzz_Joplin
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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #16 on: Sep 19^th, 2002, 10:55pm »

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I'm posting this 'cause I saw the episode mentioned here, and I totally agree with this summary!

Sunday night I exposed my innocent eyes to the monstrosity that is The Anna Nicole Show. (Forgive me, dear tainted eyes, for subjecting you to something that no one should have to see. )
Oui. That girl. That big, big girl. Anna Nicole Smith looks like a cross between RuPaul and any balloon from the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. But it's not her size that bothers me. What bugs me is the way she talks her lazy NC-17 baby talk through beautiful veneers that cover neglected and rotten teeth. It's the way she amuses herself with vulgarity -- in the most unfunny ways. It's the way she treat's the people around her like they are her Barbie and Ken dolls. She places them here and there, tells them what to do, has them dance for her amusement, then twists their heads off and bends their legs backwards.
Anna Nicole is one dead millionaire husband away from wearing a gravy stained house dress and shuffling behind a Wal-Mart shopping cart. Luckily for her, Anna is the widow of a very old, very rich man, Anna is living a life of luxury. She is fawned over, and indulged by everyone.
The Anna Nicole Show's cast of real life characters:
1. "Best Friend", Howard (Howard happens to be the lawyer helping Anna settle her claim on her deceased husband estate. Howard has seen the numbers. He is sticking around. Best Friends 4-ever!)
2. Her female assistant, Kim (Kim is pathetically in love with Anna. Kim is to Anna what Smithers is to Mr. Burns on The Simpsons.)
3. Anna's teenage son. (His hobbies are crying under his bed, and getting beaten-up at school.)
4. Sugar Pie the dog (I haven't seen enough of the show to know what Sugar Pie does.)
5. Anna's fabulous decorator, Bobby Trendy (Bobby wears lip-gloss and has Mickey Rourke's skin, pre-dermabrasion. Trendy is more feminine than most woman could ever hope to be.)
E! packages the show prettily, and passes it off as entertainment. If this is entertainment, then so was the time I watched a stupefied guy standing on his clothes in the middle of a city street. It's like yes I looked, but I did not want to keep looking. And it made me sad. Last Sunday evening, I found myself watching another stupefied person. In this instance, the person was not standing on her clothes (though you know she would be willing to try that) she was bulging within her attire. No calls to the police could remedy this situation.
The first part of last Sunday's show passed in a blur of bad taste, which I managed to repress. (I didn't see Howard giving Anna a "table dance". I'm telling you, I didn't!)
Later in the show, after a refreshing commercial break, Bobby Trendy sashayed onto my TV screen. (I found myself thinking that a 26" screen is entirely too big. And who said that the "ghosts" and rolling pictures of yesteryear were such a bad thing? Is "living color" over rated? Damn my clear RCA picture!) Mr. Trendy was helping to furnish Anna's home. His latest offerings were brought into question by Howard. I agreed with Howard that the fancy pillows for the bedroom looked like second rate goods. I could imagined Anna shaking the cheaply made pillows, the chopped chicken feathers that served as trim polluting the already questionable air in the room.
Though Howard was suspicious, Anna seem satisfied with the things Bobby delivered. ...Or was it that she was preoccupied with the rubber nipples that Howard brought to amuse her. She got mad at Howard when he didn't go along with her clever plan to fool people with the fake nips she had stuck down her top.
(Anna: "Eeeee. Don't tell them about the nipples Howard. You are a complete jackass."
Howard: But Anna, they saw you put them in your shirt. It's all on tape.)
Earlier in the show, the gang was in a limo. The sun dared to shine into Ann's side of the car. That was enough to get everyone scurrying to relieve her of such an unsettling predicament. Everyone traded seats. I am not sure who got the seat of el sol. (It was probably servant girl/assistant, Ms. Smithers.) Later, there was no good seat in the limo, when Anna stretched her bulk across the laps of her underlings. (Howard: Yes, Anna, this is just fine. Please get comfortable. Note to self: Have my gangrenous legs removed when we get back home.)
At some point in the show, Anna interviewed four chefs, one of which was to be granted the privilege of becoming her new cook. Although the ability to open a bag of Cheeto's could have sealed the deal, they all made efforts to prepare healthful, tasty dishes for Anna. Three of the four hapless chefs made fish dishes. (Anna doesn't like fish, you idiots!!) The fourth chef got the job. He, ingeniously, had made a non-fish dessert. Sadly, only one of the chefs had the Schweaty Balls not to literally jump when Anna commanded it.
So that was my Sunday night with Anna. It was no Wonderful World of Disney. I don't think I will watch again. The pain of having my retinas disinfected and sent to therapy was just too great.

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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #17 on: Sep 23^rd, 2002, 10:40am »

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Anna Hits A Wall
NY Post

'THE Anna Nicole Show," which looked to be the summer's breakout hit, has quietly been sliding down the ratings charts since its blockbuster debut.

In little more than a month, the show has lost more than half its audience.

The Sunday-night reality show, detailing the often bizarre backstage life of zaftig model Anna Nicole Smith, premiered with a hefty 4.1 million viewers - the biggest series premiere in E! history.

But since then, it's lost viewers each week - reaching a low of 1.8 million viewers on Sept. 8 before bouncing back slightly last Sunday night.

The show that was supposed to be the successor to "The Osbournes" is slowly sinking in the west.

"If you want to hold it against us that we had a phenomenal premiere, go ahead," says Mark Sonnenberg, E!'s executive vice president of entertainment.

"The show is averaging close to a 2 rating. Yeah, compared to a 4 rating it's down . . . but it's still the highest-rated show on the network and has improved its timeslot average by almost 25 percent in households.

"We could sit here and try to put a spin on it, but we got a phenomenal [premiere] tune in and a lot of people who checked that show out weren't our core audience," he said.

Viewers and critics alike, some calling the show "train wreck TV," were initially fascinated by the behavior of Smith - who seems at times punch-drunk and/or nearly inarticulate.

So has that fascination worn off by now?

"Anna Nicole is a curiousity and isn't as compelling as the characters on 'The Osbournes.' This show is all about her, and after a while, it's a little tragic," says industry analyst Stacey Lynn Koerner of Initiative Media.

"You either like her or you don't, you're either intrigued by her or you're not."

Last Sunday's "Anna Nicole Show" did register an uptick in viewers - gaining 300,000 eyeballs from the week before.

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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #18 on: Oct 4^th, 2002, 10:06am »

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Anna Nicole Joins Rich Dating Agency
Press Association

Anna Nicole Smith has enrolled at a dating agency for the wealthy.

And the actress - who admits she is desperate for more children - has already been on her first date with a company boss, she told BBC programme Liquid News.

Smith, 34, is still hoping to inherit a huge fortune following the death of her former husband, billionaire J Howard Marshall who was in his 80s when they married.

She said she had resorted to the exclusive agency because she was rarely propositioned.

"No-one ever asks me out - I don't go out, so if I'm not out no one can ask me. I just want to try, try, try to have more kids."

Voluptuous Smith said that she met her 38-year-old blind date through the agency: "He was a very nice gentleman and he brought me roses which I love. And he worked for a company or he owned the company I'm not sure which.

"He brought me a bunch of the products over, so it was really nice. I love presents. They were swimsuits. Apparently he somehow got my size beforehand because they all fit."

She said age was not important: "I just want someone who's established and is secure with their life."

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Kramer
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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #19 on: Oct 4^th, 2002, 1:03pm »

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please, please, please....no more kids. :yikes:

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Re: The Anna Nicole Show
« Reply #20 on: Oct 24^th, 2002, 8:54pm »

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E! Renews 'Anna Nicole'
Thu, Oct 24, 2002 01:12 PM PDT

LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) - E! can't get enough of Anna Nicole Smith.

The cable network has renewed "The Anna Nicole Show" for a second season, meaning cameras will once again follow the former Playboy Playmate of the Year and widow of a billionaire through her decidedly more-than-normal life.

"'The Anna Nicole Show' has been a huge success for E!," says Mark Sonnenberg, the network's executive vice president for entertainment. "Viewers are captivated by Anna Nicole's surreal world."

The series, developed after "The Osbournes" became a hit for MTV, debuted in August to more than 4 million viewers, making it the highest-rated show in E!'s history. Ratings have dropped considerably since then, but "Anna Nicole" still averages a 2.1 household rating, far better than anything else that's aired in its timeslot (10 p.m. ET Sundays). The series has also been big among adults 18-34 and 18-49, the network's target audience.

After appearing in Playboy and ad campaigns for Guess? jeans, Smith made headlines when, at age 26, she married 89-year-old oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II. Since Marshall's death in 1995, she's waged a court battle against Marshall's son over how the estate should be divided. The case is still working its way through the legal system.

Smith's lawyer, Howard K. Stern, her assistant, Kim, and her dog, Sugar Pie, are also regulars on the show.

Production on the new season of "The Anna Nicole Show" will begin in November for a premiere in early 2003.

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